Okay, here's what I have to say:
- This is my first suggestion to all users. SPELLCHECK, SPELLCHECK, and (you guessed it) FLISCHING READABILITY CHECK. Okay, that last one is a little above most people, so I wouldn't recommend using that one unless you are familiar with it. As for the spellcheck, this makes it so that the article is more "readable." By that, I mean that more people will read through the article.
For example, let's say someone made a page full of obvious spelling and grammar mistakes. Instead of reading for content, people would be distracted by the grammatical errors and probably not read the page.
- Make sure your story doesn't jump too much. For example, don't say "Link went to Death Mountain." Instead, describe the journey. If there is not much that occurs, then you can use that section to describe what is going through the main character's head on the journey.
- Make sure the words you are using have the proper conotations. For example, "beautiful" and "sexy" have the same meaning, but totally different connotations. First, define the way you want the word to sound, then choose a word.
- Finally, make sure to write with a proper mood. If you want the reader to be scared, use scary words (or phrases that bring up feelings of suspense or horror.) Don't do this:
(Mood is supposed to be supenseful) Ganondorf and Link went to their final battle, which Link barely won with Zelda's help.
Do this instead:
Ganondorf drew his sword. Link, on the other side of the makeshift arena, appeared to mirror Ganondorf exactly, drawing his sword at the same time. They then began their battle. A battle that would decide the fate of Hyrule, if not the entire world.
For a long time, the battle was back and forth. Every time Link even tried to stab at Ganondorf, the villanous Gerudo would reflect his blows. The same went for Ganondorf; either the Hylian hero would dodge the attacks, or simply block them. More then once, both of these sword masters found themselves about to be sliced in half, only to block the attack at the last moment. Ganondorf may not have recieved a blow, but his hair had been cut to a much shorter length from the hero's attacks. Link himself noticed the end of his hat missing.
Eventually, the duelists knew the battle was about to come to an end. Ganondorf attempted to end it once and for all. He slashed at the young hero, who blocked the attack. However, Ganondorf had quite the trick up his sleeve: he then grabbed the hero by the throat with his free hand.
"It seems I have finally won," said Ganondorf. For a couple of seconds, the Evil King listened to the hero's desperate attempts at breath. He watched as the three triangles on his hand glowed as brightly as they coud, seemingly growing brighter as the amount of life the hero had in him grew shorter. Then, he heard the noise of a bow string being released. The sound of an arrow slicing through the air. The feeling of an arrow tip piercing his heart. And the light purging the darkness in his soul.
Ganondorf released the hero from his grip, and used his last bit of strength to look behind him. He saw the blonde hair, the pink dress, the blue eyes. He saw the princess. He then looked at his hand and saw the three triangles that had just been glowing so brightly slowly fade away, along with his life.
He didn't even feel the Blade of Evil's Bane piercing him. His soul was already dead. All the hero had done was finished off the body.
And thus, he let out one last breath and fell lifelessly to the ground. The King of Evil was no more.
See the difference?
Well, that's all I have to say. While this applies more to fics rather than game descriptions, you could always turn the game into a fanfiction (with permission of course.)