Ayrll- WAKE UP!

Me-Oh please give me some rest.

Ayrll-No, because your whore is waiting for you.

Me-That's not nice. Anyway, tell her to hold on.

Before I can finish getting up, Saria sticks her head through the door.

Me-Saria, can ya outside?

Saria-Oh. Sorry.

I finish getting dressed and I hear a loud scream. It kind of sounded like Saria.

Me-Oh God, Saria!!! I hope its not that Mido. Because if it is, he better pray I kill him quick and painlessly.

I run outside to find that Mido is touching Saria in places I can't say! I with draw my sword

Me-Oh Hell No!!! Five seconds to run!!

Mido-Oh how scar. Sorry Argorok. I am leaving this place and taking her with me!

Mido runs away with my Saria.


I keep running. I catch up. One slash and......ugh! I faint.

???-Hello Argorok. I am the Hero Of Time, Link.

Me- Wow!! Link? What an honor. I am sorry, but I have to go, my girlfriends has been-

Link-I know. But that is not important. Your mother needs you to awaken your inner hero.


Link-Yes. Farore needs you now.

Me-Farore is a god, you have to be joking me.

Link-No I am not and I must go. Your guide will be with you shortly. Then wait for Relyt.

Then he disappears in a puff of smoke.

Me-Um a guide? For what? Who's Relyt? What kind of name is that?

As I get up, I reach for my sword and shield. I realize that it is night time now. Damn! Saria! No! How could I have let this happen? Wait it was Link. Damn you and your retarded message. Out of the great blue, a fairy flies out from the woods.

Me-Are you the guide?

???-Yep! I am! My name is Navi! It is dangerous to go alone, I will come with you. Wow, you have long hair! Ooh! A sword! I bet you know how to use it! All the heroes know! I use to be the Hero Of Time's fairy!

Me-Hi! Wow you sure talk alot. What exactly do you want from me?

Navi-To help you on your adventure! Silly boy! Wow! You must not know! Oh well! You will know soon!

Me-Adventure? I'm not going on any anywhere. At least until-

Navi-But you must! We have to go talk! Tooooo The Great Deku Tree!! Now come on! Boy you are slow! Man I am really hyper! Are you hyper? My sisters think I am toooo hyper! Do you think I am hyper? My sisters tell me to shut up! But never do! Maybe we should get a move on it! The world needs saving and it is your job. Come on, lets go wait for Relyt! No! Wait! We must see The Great Deku Tree! Come on lazy bug! Lets go! I wanna start this adventure!! I wanna start it now!!!

Me-Wow. I know what your sisters mean. But as all that may sound confusing and amusing as it is, I'm not going anywhere until I find Saria.

Navi-Oh! You mean the girl who' know, you were trying to touche? That is really sick! Now I know where your sister gets it from! Man she is some kind of weird! I watch you! Ever since you were born! Did you know your sister sneaks out the house to see some boy? Kind of reminds me of the guy who took your Saria! Why does she call her your whore? Thats not really nice you know! You should teach her some manners! I know how, if ya know what I mean. Wow that would be nice and exciting! Did you know I am bisexual? Wow! kind of hard for a fairy? Right? Hmm! Chocolate! I saw your sister in the shower playing with chocolate! It looked so fun, if ya know what I mean. Wow! I might be like her! Eww, she's disgusting! The things she does can make anybody just h-

Me-SHUT UP!!! We can go see The Great Deku Tree, if you shut up! But we have to go get Sarai! So shut up!

Navi-What if I told you I saw that one guy taking her to somewhere by the Great Deku Tree? Actually! He's inside there! So lets go!

Me-.....Poor Saria. She must be scared. Okay, lets go. But if you say one more thing, I'll kill you.

Navi-Okay, but you can't kill me with your sword. Or can you?

Me-That's it!

Navi-Uh oh!

I chase her in the direction of the Great Deku Tree.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.