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This is a transcript for The Car from Season 1.


Link: Gee, I'm so bored!

King: Link, my boy, check out my new car.

Link: Great! [They come to the car] Wow!

King: Toyta Hybrid! [Both get in car, start the engine, and off they speed through the forest] TV! [They turn on the car's TV; first it shows Bugs Bunny and three people dancing, then King changes channel. Now the screen views a squirrel and an unknown sun-like creature with a cigarette. King changes channel, and the screen views Futurama, King changes channel again, screen views an angry fox, King changes channel, screen views Mario head from Mario Teaches Typing saying "Where is everybody?", King changes channel, screen views Goofy in traffic, King changes channel, screen views some raccoons in an unknown movie, King changes channel, screen views Mario head again saying "Come back!", King changes channel one more time, screen views Weegee. Link and Harkinian are surprised, Harkinian screams, Link says "Change the channel!"] I can't! [Repeatedly presses button and then breaks TV, they both drive until they stop behind a van, TV is left behind, Morshu drives by and stops next to them]

Morshu: Mmmmm! [Link takes a peek]

Link: Huh? Huh? Huh? What's happening? [Light changes green, the three drive inappropriately, tires screech]

Morshu: Bombs! [Throws a bomb at Toyota Hybrid]

King: Ohh, s**t! [They avoid seven explosions]

Morshu: Lamp oil! [Throws lamp oil under Toyota Hybrid's tires and the tires screech]

King: Waah! [They kill Waldo from Where's Waldo series, they bump Morshu's car two times]

Morshu: One m-m-m-more bomb! [Throws bomb at Toyota Hybrid, Toyota flies up from explosion then crashes]

Morshu: Mmmmm! [Crashes into bus and explodes]

Link: I won!

King: Y'didn't do anything! [They stop at Ganon's Pub] Hmm... I could use a drink. [Walks in, Link falls asleep, card below says "3 Hours Later", King gets back in car]

Link: Huh? [Shows king] King?

King: Boy, this... piece is... our true... dinner... of four warriors of... of... [Drinks drink] Wii!

Link: What?

King: You want a... a... a.. drink?

Link: Sure! [Drinks drink, king starts engine, they both drive away, Link plays Pacman]

King: Get... get the fruit, there's more points!

Link: I'm not gonna get the fruit!

King: Get the fruit! [They both jabber about the fruit]

Link: I'M NOT GONNA GET THE FRUIT, THERE'S A GHOST RIGHT THERE! [The car drives off, almost hits another car]

King: Oh! [Person in car jabbers] F*** you, f*****! [The hybrid drives off, king plays Super Mario Land, they drive by a speed trap, police car chases their car, king looks back, Hybrid and police car drive in circles on dirt, then back on the road, police car is next to Hybrid, they bump each other and eventually come to a crashing halt at a tree on a cliff; the tree falls off a ledge, police officer walks toward the car]

Police: This is illegal, you know.

King: Go f**k yourself! [Police knocks King out with billy club, walks over to Link, throws his game to the ground and breaks his elbow; Link falls down. Soon afterward, the police man arrests the two and puts them in jail. Link sings "Suicide Is Painless".]

Link: Is that... is that good?

King: Oh god! Thank you, man! [They hi-five twice]

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