Plot: Link learns how to manipulate''''' time...

Manipulator Of TimeEdit

"FUCK!" Link cursed, skidding into North Clock Town 5 minutes too late to stop Sakon from stealing the old woman's bomb bag.

"Oh dear! Sonny, you better freakin calm down on your language!" The oxymoron of an old lady cried.

"Suck me, Grandma! I don't have time for this crap." Link said, then pulled his ocarina out of his mouth and started playing.

.3 seconds later, Link was back at the beginning of his three days. He sighed, then watched as the very same old lady that he had cussed out negative two minutes ago walked by and gave him a friendly wave and smile.

Wait a minute..

Slowly, a thought worked its way into Link's brain, fighting against the obstacles of ADHD and the inherent stupidity that comes from 1.) being a blonde, and 2.) being male. It was such a great thought, probably the best idea of all time, that Link just stood there, trying to comprehend what this could possibly mean.

A wolf's howl knocked him out of his reverie.

"Hey.." Link said.


"I.. hmm.." he continued.


Silence. The small dog quit its yapping for a few minutes, and cocked its head to one side to hear what Link had to say next.

"I can like.. control time."


"YEEEEEEEEE-HAW!" Link yelled, ripping off his clothes. Tatl was thrown from her hiding place.

Ring ring! "What the fuck, Link?"

"I'm NAKED! WEEEEEEEE!" And he was. Several village people came out of their homes to see what all the fuss was about.

"Bloody hell, boy, put some clothes on! I can see your dingle-hopper!" A carpenter yelled.

"AHAHA! NEVEEER!" Link squealed, then threw a Deku Nut at the offending carpenter, blinding him and permanently disfiguring him.

"Oh my stars! He permanently disfigured Bob! DIE, INSANE LITTLE BOY!"

And so, the townspeople formed a mob and captured Link, making a big show of setting up a stake at which Link could be burnt. He was then tied to this phallic piece of wood, and was about to be set aflame when..

"STOP!" Mayor Dotour bellowed. "The boy is allowed one final request.."

Link grinned evilly.

"All I wish is to play one last song on my beloved Ocarina.."

The townspeople looked at each other, blinking.

"Well, I don't see any harm in that. Give the boy his Ocarina." the Mayor said.

Do doooo, do. Do doooo, do. Doodle doo doo doodoodoo, doo do do dooooo.


Link turned into Dark Link then to a gigantic,yellow baby.

"LINK" "LINK!!!!!!!!!!" Dark Link said.

Suddenly, Link appeared out of nowhere.

The big gigantic baby turns into Dark Link and he escapes into the LOST FOREST...

Chapter 2: How It Goes DownEdit

…..As Link entered the Lost Forest he heard an almost silent but not sound in the distance. Closer the sound was getting, Link readied his weapon (the master sword) and shield to fend off what might be attacking. Link keeps listening swoosh, swoosh, and swoosh. Finally the object making the noise appears Dark Link. The two stare at each other in a gaze. Then Dark Link makes the first move a fast and deadly sword slash at Links head. Link Defends. Dark Link jumping back screeches war cry "AHHH", and attacks again. Again Link defends. Link looks at Dark Link noticing he is tired, Link lunges forward and gets Dark Link with a powerful blow to the body. Dark Link looks down and sees he is bleeding; he looks at Link and draws his bow. Fling an arrow of dark power is shot towards Link and pierces his left shoulder. "Ahhhh", Link went in a way of pain. Dark Link continued shooting arrows at Link; Link deflects them with his shield and takes cover behind a tree. Dark Link going to grab another arrow notices he is out of arrows, draws his dark blade and slices the tree. Link gasps, looks behind him and ducks from the next blow. Link draws his blade and lunges toward Dark Link, the two lock swords. Sweating and bleeding both drop back to attack, Dark Link pulls his sword over his head, at that instant Link slashes Dark Link across the stomach. Dark Link drops his blade, falls to his knees grabbing his stomach. Lifts his hands to his face seeing the blood on his gloves, falls head first to the ground and vanishes, and in the wind mutters "I'll be back and next time I won't lose".

Link puts his sword in its hilt, thinks for a second what has just happened. Link turns back around and leaves lost forest victorious.

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