Link is in his bed when he, for the umpteenth time, recieves a message from Zelda, even though she could just go to him instead.
"The world is at turmoil, the fourth piece of the triforce has been stolen and fallen into the wrong hands." she says.
Link goes to the temple, ignoring the for sale signs. Halfway across the stage he gets.... A coffee mug. Confused by the mediocrity of it, he wanders into the boss room.
Inside the boss room, the door immediately locks and closes. There are six paintings of people. Link observes them carefuly. Then, suddenly, they all pop out chanting "Kooloo-Limpah, Kooloo-Limpah,"
Link thinks this will be too easy. However, a giant moth with bat wings attacks link. With no choice, he throws the cofeee mug. The glass collides and it explodes massively. The paiting people shoot a beam and destroy the moth. Then after a seance and a few words nobody knows, a vortex appears. Then the most vile, evil villian of all time jumps out of the portal. The beast was...Tingle
The fourth piece (what a cliché)Edit
Tingle says in a deep voice "Well Link, long time no see. You may be wondering why I'm here. I came here to gain the whole Triforce. I already have one piece." He then shows his left hand and an image of the Tetraforce appears. "It was I who had it. Can't you see, the only ones who can be holders of the Triforce have to have a Wikipedia page on them." Tingle then makes a laptop appear and shows Link his Wikipedia article, after three minutes of loading. Link smashes the computer and lunges forward. Tingle levitates a painting and smashes it into link's face, knocking him unconcious. The last words Link hears is "That is the power of the Triforce of Etcetera."
The temple of rupeesEdit
Link regains conciousness in a different temple. He finds a note on the floor.
I could of destroyed you, but I decided if i did then this wouldn't be good story. So I put you in the Temple of...games.
In the game temple Link gets a Boomerang, Bow, Bomb bag, and Cologne in exchange for a timeshare in Termina. He uses the three new items to do things such as shoot arrows, blow up stuff, and do whatever your supposed to do with a Boomerang. He then finds the Coke bottle in a randomly placed chest. He then spots a sweaty football player. Link gives the Coca-Cola to the player. While Link is walking away the football player says "Hey kid, catch." The player gives link a (sweaty) Zora tunic. Link uses the Cologne and heads for the boss.
The boss is a Goron with crystals growing on his back. the Goron challenges Link to a game of...Dance Dance Revolution. Needless to type, Link wins.
the temple of gamesEdit
Link exits the temple and after an obnoxiously long cutscene, enters the temple of rupees (save hyrule- recycle ideas). In it link gains a bunch of rupees. Then suddenly, he enters a chest and gains more rupees, but he has 999 rupees. link cannot pass the chest without gaining rupees, and he can't gain any. He's trapped. All hope is lost for our poor hero.He huddles in a corner. it seems our hero is doomed when suddenly, he has an idea. He uses his cellphone. He calls Arylll and starts shouting random battle cries. He then recieves a bill of 624 ruppes. He pays it and carries on with his life.
Link approaches the bosses room. He opens the door and enters the room. King dodongo, cyclok, blaaz, barinade, morpha, and phantom ganon are waiting. He pulls out all four of the items (don't ask). the bosses are scared. Then tingle appears. Tingle yells out nonsense and merges the bosses. They are now.... phantom cyclaazarinamorphongon, but because my fingers hurt, we'll call him bob. Link shoots an arrow at its eye-wing-nucleus-horse. bob surrenders.
Another stupid chapterEdit
Link has no idea what's going on and why he entered those temples in the first place. He decides to just go to Tingle's castle. Suddenly, Tingle appears. He is holding ganondorf in his hands. Link attacks, but Tingle slams ganondorf into him. He then merges with ganondorf's triforce of power, becoming a new obnoxious runt, ganingle. Ganingle is tingle but with fangs, a tail, and bat wings. Ganingle throws ganondorf. Ganondorf screams "The writers will bring me back in a unrealistic way." Then KLUNK. Tingle throws Link into another temple, which will lead to the next filler chapter.
Just end it alreadyEdit
after link defeats the temple, he purchases a train ticket. He goes into some nerds house in Iowa and...
(note: the following will have a new author)
Ignore what happened earlier, okay? Link somehow gains light arrows and somehow ends up in Ganingles lair. Ganingle roars and link shoots his cheeks with light arrows and Ganingle dies. The end.