CHAPTER ONE: A "Haggish" Party[]
Weddings are supposed to be amazing right? All partyish and galmourous. Not for Link. It wasn't so much as even happy. Why? Well, the bride wasn't there first of all. But let's not rush into things. Let's go back say, last night.
Link dove into the lake, making a splash as big as a wolfos. Bubbles escaped his mouth as he swam to the surface. He held is breath, and exhaled as he broke free from the lake's bonds.
"Alright Link, looking good!" his freind, Zuko called from the shore. Link waved and paddled to the bay. A bunch guys with drinks in their hands and a bunch of bikini-clad girls were sitting around partying and chatting. So far Link's bachellor party was going great. But he knew it wouldn't last, thing's like this never did. Even when he'd proposed to his fiance, Malon, they'd been attacked by a giant Chuchu.
Ah, Malon. The love of his life. Ever since he'd rembered, he'd loved his beautiful human. Fiannly when they graduated Sage School, he'd gotten her to go out with him. And after a few 'bed actions' he'd asked her to marry him. Now he'd either been really nice or good in bed, because she screamed yes. Eh, it was probably the second one.
Link walked up onto the gravle-grass shore and rested on a rock. He grabbed a drink from an floating tray, that he figured was being carried by a couple of invisble Picori, which could only be seen by children. After chatting with the Know-It All Brothers, and getting into an agrument about who could run the fastest with Mido, and then winning in a foot race while Mido cried like a baby, a young, hot, red bikini wearing girl with short blond hair came up.
"Hey, Link," she said in a sensual tone, carressing herself to get Link's attention. "I saw your dive-" she ran her hand over her legs, bending over and back up- "and I have to say-" she put her fingers to her lips and pouted, in the sexy way girls do- "it was really-" she leaned in close to Link and put her legs around. She put her lips to his ear and her buxom chest to his. "It was really, seducing."
Link pushed her off and she stood up, face red.
"What the hell, Link!" she barked.
"This is my bachellor party, Regina!" Link fumed.
"So?" she frowned.
"Meaning I'm getting married, obviously!" he snarled stading up.
She leaned in close and began to unclip her bikini top strap. "yout not married yet, so it doesn't mean you cant have a little 'fun', if you know what I mean." She grinned.
Link grabbed her bikini as it begin to fall off, revealing more cleavage than needed. "Yeah, I know what you mean and the answer's no!"
"Oh, but Linky Winky, play with me. Play with me!" Regina pushed Link down and squatted on top of him. Putting her hands on his chest she began going up and down on his pants area shouting, "Oh Link! Ah! Oh! You bad boy!"
"Regina get off of me!"
"Oh, Link! Harder! Harder! All the way, baby!" People began to look and frown, proabably wandering what the heck was Link doing with a slutty Kokiri like that?
"Get it Link! Get it! Get that ass! Get that- get that ass!" It was strange how she was so into it. Link was tempted to rip her clothes off and do her in front of everyone but he couldn't. He had to stay loyal to Saria.
"GET OFF YOU DRUNK BITCH!" he shouted, rolling over and pinning her to the ground. Unfourtuantley it was in an awkward position.
"Oh ho, Link. How nice of you to oblige." She let out a long moan and began to move her hands down Link's stomach. But her nails were like daggers, her skin like stone. Link threw himself back and shouted, "MONSTER!"
"You, idiot!" Regina shouted. "You figured me out. It's about time though. I've been here since senior year at the school."
She began to stretch and morph untill she was an old evil hag wearing a long green cloak. People screamed and began running around. Mido ran into a tree, and was dragged away by the Know-It All Brothers. Link stood on-gaurd, but realzied he had no sword or shield.
"Guess I'm getting my hands dirty, tonight," he growled.
"Oh, Link you bad boy," Regina said. Comeing from a hag it made Link shiver.
Regina lunged forward, but kicked her back into the water. She stood and gorweld, pouncing again. Link punched her upside the head, but her skin was so hard his fist nearly broke. How was he supposed to defeat her if he couldn't even punch her?!
"Link catch!"
He had no idea who said it, but the next thin he knew, a piece of wood was hurling through the air. When he caught it, it morphed into a long sword, with a blue, six winged, yellow jewled hilt. He looked closely and it remided him of the Master Sword his ancestor had found beofre him.
Link put the thought aside and raced at the hag, bringing his sword down in an arch. The blade mad contact and the hag withered and fell to the ground, green blood spurting from her body.
"No this, Hero Clad in Green," Regina the hag said. "My mistress plots, and she will destroy you in the end. She comes for the one closest to you. Beware Hero Clad in Green, beware."
The hag burst into flames and, leaving a plume of smoke, was gone.
Link dropped the sword to the ground and it turned back into a piece of wood.
"She comes for the one closest to you..."
Link thought and thought... Malon. They were coming for Malon. Link broke into a run, racing off through the woods and back to Kokiri Village. His fiance was in danger, and he was sure something bad was happen, real soon, real quick.